Putting Out the ‘For Sale’ Sign on Emotional Clutter

We’ve probably all profited on some level by putting out the ‘For Sale’ sign on the physical clutter we’ve been removing from our lives, either through yard sales or charitable donations.  In this past month, I’ve realized that there’s value derived from putting out the ‘For Sale’ sign on emotional clutter as well, as it frees your mind to focus on other thoughts, interests, and activities. 

For 10 years I lived next to neighbors that I can only diplomatically describe as “difficult”.  There was a never-ending stream of issues between us, and over time the neighbor relationship disintegrated completely.  It got to the point where to even see each other in our front yards would generate a scowl and bad feelings for a while.  Eventually, these negative feelings began to take their toll on my enjoyment of my home.

Then, I awoke on my birthday to see a “For Sale” sign staked in their front yard and I can barely describe the flood of relief that sight brought to me.  Indeed, it was the best birthday present I could have hoped for, as it signaled to me that these quarrelsome people were going to be removed from my immediate world.  Instantly, I felt a freedom I hadn’t experienced in a long time.  No longer would I tense up as I approached my driveway at the end of the day, dreading that I might see these people in their yard.  No longer would I find the nasty notes shoved through my mail slot.  No longer would I have to listen to them shout unpleasant comments over the side fence.  Thankfully, their house sold quickly and soon I was noticing how much easier and pleasant it felt to live in my own home again. 

I now realize that I can put up that ‘For Sale’ sign on other sources of emotional clutter in my life.  Recently, I heard some news about a particular individual in my professional world that generated a similar feeling of relief.  The news allowed me to let go of the influence I perceived this person held over my success at work.  Maybe their influence was real, maybe it was imagined; however, I no longer hold on to the clutter those feelings created, and I feel free to approach my new job without all that emotional baggage.  (Yes, a new job---more on that next month!)

And to carry the analogy a step further, I think about what I gain from the ‘sale’ of emotional clutter—space in my mind to focus on the goals I set for myself; relief from negative or self-defeating thoughts; freedom to enjoy day-to-day activities more completely.  There’s a payoff associated with every ‘For Sale’ sign one stakes in the front lawn of their life.  I think I’ll start putting the sign out more often.  Onward!

Dot Snow - dot.snow@kp.org - 27 April 2005